If I Never See You Again
by Chris




"Shera? You home?"
The voice from downstairs startled her. She had not heard it for nearly a month now, since Shinra No. 26 finally took off, but there was no mistaking it. It belonged to Cid Highwind.
Shera heard his heavy boots thudding across the living room floor as he entered the house. Strange. She had not seen nor heard the enormous airship that was AVALANCHE's main mode of transportation, and wondered why Cid would come here in any other vehicle, but she did not question it. The relief she felt in knowing that he was alive made her heart race, and she quickly ran out of her bedroom and hopped down the stairs, trying not to look to excited.
"Captain?" she called when she reached the empty living room.
She turned as she heard footsteps approach her and saw Cid coming back in from the yard. He removed the cigarette from his mouth and tossed it into the ashtray on the coffee table.
"There you are." he said. "I thought you were outside or something."
"I was in my room. You surprised me, Captain. I wasn't expecting you." Shera said softly. Seeing the Captain alive and in one piece brought tremendous joy to her heart, but she did her best to hide it.
"I wasn't expecting me either," Cid said as he plopped down into his favorite chair, "but we're kinda on a break for the night."
"You mean it isn't…over?" Shera asked nervously.
"Have a look outside and see for yourself!" he said.
Shera didn't need to look outside. She knew what she would see. She would see Meteor, burning brightly in the sky. She had spent many hours watching it, wondering what had become of Cid and his friends. She knew they were looking at it too. It was almost beautiful. Shera was amazed by this thought. How could something born of such pure evil ever be beautiful?
"I know," she said after a moment, "so I guess that means…it's too late."
Cid stood up quickly. "No, it's not. We still have one last hope. Before Aeris died, she had summoned Holy, but it can't finish it's job. That bastard Sephiroth is interfering with it from inside the Planet."
She was visibly shaken by this, and Cid looked worried. "So now what?"
"Tomorrow, we're going to the Northern Crater, and into the core of the Planet. We either stop Sephiroth once and for all, or…"
"…die trying?" Shera finished, suddenly looking up at Cid. Fear was visible in her eyes.
Cid could tell she was upset, but said nothing about it. "We have no choice. We'll all die in a week anyway. We have nothing left."
"But why do you have to fight? You're not a soldier like Cloud, or a rebellion leader like Barret! Why do you have to get involved?"
"What the hell's it to you?!" Cid suddenly snapped. Shera was startled by his outburst, but she had come to accept his harshness.
"I'm sorry." she said, pausing a moment. "I've been worried about you Captain, that's all."
Cid shut his eyes and breathed deeply. "I know Shera. I've been worried about you too."
"You have?" Shera asked, surprised. The Captain was usually very hard on her, but now he seemed to be trying to be…nice. "Then why didn't you ever call?"
"I don't always have the luxury, you know! I've been living on the road for three months now, fighting off monsters and Turks and Jenovas and Sephiroths…there ain't many phones around!" Cid said, not quite as harshly as usual.
Shera walked slowly over to the couch and plunked down on it, placing her hands in her lap. "You could at least have given me some sign that you weren't dead, Captain."
Cid didn't answer.
"I've been worried sick about you. You're a pilot, not a warrior. You could be killed out there, do you realize that?" Shera felt tears welling up in her eyes. She could not bear to think of life without her Captain.
Cid was not looking at her to see her pained expression. "More every day." he replied calmly. He reached for his cigarette and took a long drag, staring silently out the window.
"So what are you doing home then?" Shera asked, looking for a more comfortable subject as she forced back her tears.
"Sorry to interrupt your day," he said, making a small attempt at humor, "but I have a reason."
"What's that?"
Cid paused, thinking carefully over what he was going to say. "The way we figure, or more like the way Cloud figures, if Sephiroth isn't destroyed and Meteor stopped, we're all gonna die anyway, so if we go to fight, it'll just be a few days sooner than everyone else." Cid's words were spoken in a cool and relaxed tone, as if he were trying to sound calming.
It's not working. Shera thought to herself, but said nothing.
"He said that everyone must have something in this world worth saving, or else we wouldn't care that it was about to end. So Cloud told us to take the rest of the day to ourselves, and figure out what it was we were each fighting for, and if we couldn't come up with anything, to just stay home and wish them luck, and he would understand." Cid finished and looked up at Shera. She was looking away, and seemed nervous.
"So you're here to figure out why you're going to fight Sephiroth?" she asked, still not looking at him. Her hands twisted uncomfortably in her lap.
"Right. Or to figure out why I'm not going to fight Sephiroth."
Shera turned her head and looked into his eyes. "Do you really think you can do it? Do you think you can stop him? Or will you just be throwing your lives away?"
"Does it make a difference? It's not like anyone's going to live very long as things are anyway." Cid got up and started to pace the floor. "Truthfully, I think there's more than eight people in this world capable of fighting Sephiroth. And I think there's more than eight people with something on this planet that means something to them. The numbers are all @#$*ed up. Everyone on this whole planet owes it somethin', and it ain't right that so many soldiers and fighters are cowering in their basements right now. But we can't fix that. All we can do is what we can do."
Shera studied Cid. He had changed since he had joined AVALANCHE. His outlook on life was different. A month ago, all he could think about was his rocket, and going into space. Now he had become a philosopher. Shera shook her head, and then looked back up at Cid. He was once again staring out the window, his cigarette smoke making patterns around his head.
"You never answered my question." she said softly.
He turned to her and looked at her for a moment. "I don't know Shera, I don't know. I've seen him do things that…God, he scares the hell outta me. He's practically a god himself, but…" Cid's voice trailed off, and he turned his eyes downward.
"But?"
"But I know one thing. I know that Cloud Strife believes in us all, and we all believe in him. After all we've been through, none of us can deny that if it wasn't for him, we'd have all been dead long ago. He's been the driving force behind us all the way. And I know that Aeris Gainsborough gave her life so that we could have a chance to save ourselves. She gave us a wonderful gift, and none of us are willing to let that go to waste." Cid looked back up at her. "So if they believe we can do it, then I believe we can do it."
Shera looked into Cid's eyes. They were the same, blue eyes that she had seen so many times, but there was something different about them. In them, she could see a new strength, and a new determination. He was still Cid, but a Cid with a whole new perspective.
A man destined to be a hero.
Shera smiled weakly at him. "Cloud really believes in this, doesn't he?"
Cid nodded. "I've never seen a man so brave, and so selfless." Cid chuckled. "I remember Barret tellin' me that when he first met Cloud, he was a total @$$hole. Didn't give a damn about no one but himself. And now look at him."
Shera nodded, looking at her hands, still twisting in her lap. "So what's your decision?"
"Huh?"
"Are you going to fight?"
"Oh." Cid walked over to the couch and sat down next to her, with only about a foot of space between them. He crushed his cigarette down in the ashtray, and sat back. "Yes. There's no doubt in my mind that this is what has to be done." Shera closed her eyes tightly. She knew he was right, but she didn't want him to go. She didn't want to lose him.
Please don't die, Captain.
Despite all the pain she had endured over the years, Shera still loved her Captain with all her heart. She wished she could tell him, but she couldn't. He wouldn't want her love, anyway.
Shera turned her head away and started to cry. She hated to look so weak in front of Cid, but she could no longer hold her tears back. That seemed to happen a lot recently. She had spent most of the time while he was gone crying, and praying that he was still alive. But she dared not show it. She had no idea how Cid would react to it, but seeing how he reacts to most things, it probably wouldn't be to comfort her. He'd probably just tell her she was being a baby.
"Aw, Shera, c'mon, don't do that."
Shera was surprised at the kindness in his tone. "Huh?"
"Don't cry Shera. Everything's gonna be fine." Cid put a hand on her shoulder, and she jumped a little, but then relaxed.
She ain't used to you being nice, jack@$$.
"Captain, I'm scared."
"I know. Me too."
Shera dried her eyes with her sleeve and cleaned off her glasses. After a moment, she got up and walked towards the kitchen.
Cid looked up at her in surprise. "Where ya goin'?"
Shera got a teapot out of the cabinet and began filling it with water. "I'll make you some tea. I wasn't expecting you home, or I would've made some before."
Cid got up and went over to her. "Oh, forget the damn tea. Don't worry about it."
"It's OK." Shera said as she placed the pot on the stove and lit the burner. She turned to face Cid, and was surprised to see that he looked a little nervous. "What's wrong Captain?"
Cid scratched his head and cleared his throat. "Um…this isn't easy for me…"
"What is it?"
Cid looked her in the eye. "Shera you realize that after all of this, even if we win, I…I might not be coming home."
Shera felt her eyes begin to fill with tears yet again. "Yes…yes I know."
"So if I never see you again Shera, I can't go without…" Cid turned his eyes away for a moment, then looked back at her. "Without telling you…I'm sorry."
Shera's tears spilled down her face again, and Cid stepped a little closer to her.
"I'm sorry for everything I've put you through all these years. I know you didn't deserve any of it. You've been my best friend for ten years, and you've given me so much, but I've given you nothing but torture in return. I…I never even thanked you for all you've done." Cid reached out and put his hands on Shera's shoulders. "But I'm thanking you now, and telling you how sorry I am. I only hope…that you can forgive me."
Shera felt her heart pound as she looked into her Captain's clear, blue, honest eyes. She simply didn't know what to say or do.
Cid looked at Shera for a few seconds, wondering how she was going to react. He felt a pain in his heart when she didn't even respond.
How could I expect her to forgive me? I…I don't deserve to be forgiven. I don't deserve her.
Cid removed his hands from Shera's shoulders and turned away from her, putting his hand on his aching forehead.
Seeing him turn away quickly brought Shera to her senses, and before he could move further away, she grabbed his arm and pulled it, spinning him back around to face her. He looked at her, startled, for a second, and then she threw her arms around his neck and buried her tear-streaked face in his shoulder.
Cid was shocked at Shera's affectionate reaction. They had lived together for ten years and never once embraced each other. He wasn't used to it, but quickly decided that he liked it. He gently wrapped his arms around her, taking in the sweet smell of her hair, and gently stroking her back.
Shera held her Captain tightly, not wanting to let him go. She wished she could make him stay here with her, and never leave, never risk his life, or make her wonder if he wasn't already dead, again. But she knew he was right. She knew Cloud was right.
This was what had to be done.
Cid held Shera softly, enjoying the softness of her body, her hair, and the sweet, flowery scent of her skin that he had never really noticed before. Cid reflected on the times that he had gotten along with Shera. The times when they had enjoyed each other's company, had meaningless conversations that lasted for hours, laughed together, and supported each other. It wasn't like they hated each other, and there had been times that Cid thought of Shera as a friend and not just an assistant and housekeeper. Of course, he doubted Shera liked him very much, and often wondered why she was still here, but he was certainly glad she was. Maybe now, if he lived long enough, he could begin to make up for the abuse he had given her.
Cid moved next to Shera's ear and whispered, "I'm sorry."
Shera squeezed him a little tighter at this and said, "It's OK, Captain. You're already forgiven."
Shera felt wonderful in Cid's arms. Never had he been so kind to her. They had their times when they had gotten along like best friends, but then, they had times when they couldn't stand each other. Or more like Cid couldn't stand her.
Shera remembered when she had first moved in with him. It was supposed to be a temporary arrangement for conveniences when the Shinra space program was in full swing, but that was ten years ago. After the calamity that had brought the space program to an end, Shera felt terrible about what had happened. She knew that Oxygen Tank No. 8 was malfunctioning, and didn't want him to get hurt in space. She had been proven right only recently, when the tank exploded, but didn't rub it in. But she had been willing to die for him, so he could make it safely to his Promised Land. She never once thought that maybe he wouldn't want to kill her.
She remembered the weeks after the incident. Cid had been furious, as well as heartbroken. He didn't speak to her for almost a week, and after that, stuck to mostly swear words. But Shera knew that Cid was really a very warmhearted person, and since she had nowhere else to live, he had let her stay with him, never once asking when she would be able to leave. She felt that she owed him for this, as well as for wrecking his dream. She had fallen in love with him after spending a few days living in his house, and let his harsh words bounce off her, and his kind words fill her heart. It was those few, small moments of kindness that reminded her of how much she loved him.
Shera stopped daydreaming only when she realized that they had been holding each other for several minutes. But Cid didn't seem to mind, so she didn't pull out of the embrace, just silently enjoyed it…
…until the whistle of the teapot scared the hell out of both of them.
They broke apart and stumbled backwards when the loud noise shattered their tender moment, and Cid had a few colorful metaphors to convey his shock. Shera quickly took the pot off the stove and poured the boiling water into Cid's favorite mug.
Cid sat down at the table, and Shera sat across from him. They looked at each other, and Cid grinned. Then they both burst out laughing.
"At the rate you're goin', you're gonna give me a heart attack before I even get a chance to get done in by Sephiroth!" Cid said, laughing.
Shera didn't say anything, just smiled.
Cid noticed her wide smile and gave her a look. "What's with you?" he asked.
"It's nothing. I'm just happy is all." she said softly.
"I'm glad we can finally put all of my crap behind us," Cid said, "Because I like it better when we're not fighting."
"So do I. Thank you, Captain."
Cid suddenly slammed his mug down on the table, startling Shera. She looked at Cid questioningly, wondering what was wrong.
"Shera, are you ever going to use my first name? Do you even know what it is?" he said.
She gave him a shocked look.
"C-I-D!"
Shera couldn't believe it. He was asking her to call him by his name! "Cid…" she said, slowly.
"Thank you! Honestly, you don't have to call me Captain anymore. I never said you did!" he said, wiping up the tea that had spilled when he slammed his mug down.
Shera smiled.
For the next several hours, Cid and Shera talked about everything and nothing, the way they sometimes did, except now, they were both cheerful. A wonderful friendship, buried under so many years of pain, had finally emerged, and was now stronger than ever.
A cool breeze blew in through the open window, and the smell of a cool, summer evening filled the room. Cid heard it rustle the leaves on the trees, and a stillness settled across the land. Cid smiled. He loved summer evenings, when the sun sank low in the west, and a serene sky, filled with stars, looked down on the world. He would sometimes lay outside on a night like this, and fall asleep looking at the stars, dreaming of one day reaching them. He always woke up with a blanket spread over him.
Damn Shera, how could I take you for granted all these years?
Cid chuckled to himself, catching Shera's attention. "What's so funny?"
"I think I've set a new distance record." he said.
Shera looked at him questioningly.
"For having my head up my @$$!" he laughed.
"What?
"Nothin'!" he said, getting up. His memories had given him and idea. He knew what he wanted to do, and the night was perfect to do it.
Shera got up to clear the long empty teacups from the table. She figured he was going to have a smoke before dinner. Dinner! "I'm sorry, Cid, I didn't think you'd be home! Can you deal with some leftovers?"
"Forget that," he said, "I wanna do me some flyin'."
Shera looked puzzled as she turned her head towards him. "I thought the Tiny Bronco wouldn't fly."
"I spent every free second these last few months fixin' it. It's been air worthy for a while now, but since we got the Highwind, we've been usin' that. The Bronco worked better as a boat anyways. Can't really fly with people on the wings!"
Shera nodded and turned on the sink to wash the cups. "Have fun." Shera wished he would stay with her longer, but didn't want to spoil it for him.
He may never get to fly that plane again.
"You comin' or what?"
What?!
Shera whirled around. "What?"
"Come on, before I leave withoutcha!" With that, he smiled and walked towards the back door.
She knew how to take a hint. Shutting off the water and drying her hands as quickly as possible, she scurried towards the back door, grabbing her jacket on the way. She was throwing it over her shoulder as she went through the door. The sun was just touching the horizon, and she felt it's warmth on her face. A few birds soared across the sky, singing their soothing songs as they passed. It was a beautiful sunset. Cid was already by the Tiny Bronco. Cid must have taxied it into the backyard from the small field nearby. To land it in such a small yard would be impossible.
That's how he got here.
Cid patted the wing of his pride and joy, running his hand along the smooth metallic surface. She walked over next to him, and he looked down at her.
"What brought this on? You never take me anywhere!" she kidded.
"I figured you'd enjoy it. Nights like this make you forget the world is ending." Cid said as he hopped in the front seat.
Shera was glad she had worn sneakers as she climbed up into the passenger seat. She settled in comfortably and fastened her seat belt, then her safety harness. She grinned to herself as she remembered the incident that made Cid agree to put those in. Nearly falling out of an upside down plane six hundred feet in the air was a little more convincing than her safety speeches.
"Take it easy, OK? I don't find barrel rolls as fun as you do!" she said. Cid turned to face her. She searched his eyes, and was surprised as he took her hand.
"Shera, I can't erase the bad memories, but I can make at least one good one. Years from now, I want you to look back on this night and smile. If I never see you again, I want this one night to be happy."
Shera smiled as her eyes began to water. Every memory of you is a happy one, Cid.
Cid turned back around and started the engines. The plane was specially designed to do vertical takeoffs, and Shera's hair whipped about as the engines came to life with a roar. Cid took them up slowly at first, then went almost straight up. Shera's eyes widened, and she shrieked in joyous fear. Kind of like a roller coaster; you're scared to death, but happy.
Cid flew them straight towards the disappearing sun. Shera tilted her head back and let its rays wash across her face. The tie holding her hair back came loose, and her long brown hair streamed out behind her. She removed her glasses so the wind wouldn't take them, and closed her eyes. She loved to fly.
Cid must have sensed her happiness. "It's great, ain't it?" he shouted over the roar of the engines and rushing wind.
"Wonderful!" she called in response.
"Well then, if ya liked that, you'll love this!"
"Oh no, Capt-…Cid, nooooo!!!!" Shera screamed as the plane suddenly began to climb. Shera screamed, eyes wide, as the plane made a spectacular loop. She saw the land whiz by above/below her, and screamed again when she realized how high they were. Cid came out of the loop, and looked back at Shera, grinning.
"Cid, are you trying to give me a heart attack?" she yelled, trying to sound angry, but unable to control her laughter.
"Do ya trust me or what?"
Shera smiled back at him. Of course she did.
So when Cid went into a barrel roll, she didn't protest, only grabbed his shoulders and dug her fingers in. She heard him grunt and figured she was hurting him, but also figured he deserved it as the plane spun through the air. She expected him to shrug her off, but he didn't.
"Cid, instead of giving everyone on the ground a stunt show, can we go sightseeing?" she yelled to him.
"You bet! Hold on!" Cid throttled up the plane, and they zoomed out over the ocean. The sun was half gone by now, and the water glistened in the bright red light. The sky was a brilliant orange, and the air was fresh with the smell of the ocean.
Cid took Shera as far from Rocket Town as time would permit. They flew low over Wutai; Shera could see Yuffie's pagoda from where they were. Cid circled back over Nibelheim, then turned south towards Cosmo Canyon. Shera had never seen the place before, and gasped in awe at the redness of the rocks. She wondered if Red could see them. She saw the remains of the Gogonga reactor, and the amazing lights of the Gold Saucer as Cid buzzed it. She had never been there, but hoped to go someday.
Maybe you'll take me Cid. Maybe.
Shera looked around for the Highwind, and saw it just a few miles away from Midgar. Even Midgar looked brilliant in the night. The sun was down, and the lights of the city were visible from far away. The Highwind stood proudly near the beach, hovering silently, and Cid flew in close for a good look. Shera looked at the ground, and thought she saw a slender, dark-haired woman, and man with a spiky blond hairdo below.
"Heeeey!!" Cid screamed as he zoomed by.
Shera waved to Tifa and Cloud, but couldn't see if they waved back of not. Cid turned to her and gave her a look that said, "it's time to go home". Shera was reluctant to let this little adventure end, but nodded in agreement.
"This is it Shera!" Cid hollered. "This is what living is!" Cid paused a second. "It don't get much better'n this!"
"No it doesn't!"
A short while later, Cid and Shera landed just outside of Rocket Town. He taxied the plane right through the streets, as he had done a few times before, much to the annoyance of the people in town. Like Cid cared. They stopped in the backyard, and once the engines were shut down, the night was perfectly still.
Cid hopped out of the plane a few seconds behind Shera, who stood panting on the ground a few feet away. Cid lit up a cigarette and gave her a look. "Quit bein' a baby!"
Shera knew he was kidding. "You're used to it!" she retorted.
"Aw, c'mon, it wasn't that bad, was it?"
"No. I had fun Cid. I really did. Thank you."
"Don't mention it." Cid said, turning towards the door. "Getting late."
"Cid?"
He turned his head and looked at her out of the corner of his eye.
"Can you…keep me company for a few minutes?" Shera thought he might complain, but he didn't. He turned sauntered out of the yard, into the clearing near the rocket launch pad, Shera not far behind. He plunked himself down in the grass, and looked up at the full moon. Shera sat timidly on the grass a few feet from him. "Thank you."
Cid didn't respond, he just looked at the moon. He seemed to be thinking. Shera moved a little closer to him. "You're right."
"Huh?"
"We can't just let this world be destroyed."
Cid shifted to get a better look at her. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, look at it. Everything we saw tonight. Even after all that we've put it through, it's still beautiful. As long as the world has beauty, there's something worth saving."
Cid looked down at the grass, uprooting some of it with his fingertips. "I guess so."
Shera sat more comfortably. "Why do you sound so unconvinced?"
"Dunno. The world is great, but…well…it's not all that I'm concerned about. I guess what I'm in this for is a little closer to home."
Shera rolled her eyes and smiled. "Of course. You want to build another rocket, right?"
"I suppose, but that ain't it."
"No?" Shera was surprised. She figured that was his reason for staying in the fight so long. Even though he had been to space, he didn't really get much time to enjoy it. With the artificial gravity, he didn't even get to float around. "Then what is it?"
Cid seemed to be a little uneasy. Was he having second thoughts?
Maybe he'll stay.
No.
She couldn't let him stay. She realized that now. He was right. There was no other way. If he stayed, the world may die. There would be no more sunsets, no more moonlit nights, no more sunny days, no more cool breezes, and no more birds singing. And no more fond memories. If anything in this world was worth saving, it was fond memories.
Shera slid close to Cid, and looked up at the moon. Nature had a way of calming one's mind. Under the soft glow of the moon, in the still of the night, with Cid so close to her, Shera realized that nothing could ever take her memories away from her. She had every smile, every kind word, every laugh ever to come from Cid Highwind stored in her heart. She loved him more than anything, and even in the worst of times, she never forgot that. Meteor couldn't crush it, Sephiroth couldn't take it, and Jenova couldn't pollute it. When it was all over, in seven says, or seventy years, she would always have her love.
That was the true beauty. If anything in this world was worth saving, it was love.
"I love you, Shera."
…….
What?!
Shera's eyes were huge as she looked at Cid, who was staring silently into them, a serious expression on his face.
Did he just say he loved me?!
Shera opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. She just stared, wide eyed and slack jawed at Cid.
Cid put his hands on Shera's shoulders. "I mean it Shera. You asked me what I was fighting for, and it's you. It's taken me ten years to admit it, to myself even, but it's always been you. There's nothing in this world that means jack to me, except you."
Shera's eyes began to water, and she touched Cid's hand, which was still on her shoulder. "Cid…I…"
"That's why I came home. Thinking about dying made me think about my life. I realized I couldn't die before I told you. After all I put you through, I couldn't let it end with you hating me. If I never see you again, I need you to know that I love you. As long as you know that, then I can die happy."
Shera didn't know what to do, so she went with her first impulse. She threw her arms around Cid and kissed him. She wondered how he would react. She felt him squeeze her tightly, and run his fingers through her hair. Tears flowed down both their faces, and for a moment, the world around them ceased to exist. They had love, and there was nothing else.
When the kiss ended, Shera looked into his blue eyes. From the day she had met him, she knew she had never seen such honest eyes. "Cid…"
His hand ran through her hair again, his fingers playing with the soft brown strands.
"Cid, I never hated you. There are no bad memories. I love you, Cid. No matter what we said to each other in the past, I've always loved you. Nothing can take that away from us." Shera smiled and touched his cheek. "No matter what, I'll always love you."
Cid kissed her again, and gently brushed away her tears. She laid her head on his shoulder, and relaxed in his arms, looking up at the moon. "It's such a wonderful night."
"Yeah. I doubt if I'll ever top this one." Cid said as he hugged Shera closer to him. She laughed softly. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For not hating me."
Shera reached up and cupped Cid's face with one hand, her eyes meeting his. "Don't say that, Cid. I never hated you. I don't care about the things you say to me, I still love you." Shera grinned. "Why do you think I put up with it for all these years?!" she teased, pinching his arm.
"Hey! Watch it, lady!" Cid roared as he removed Shera's fingers from his arm. Laughing, they lost their balance, and Cid toppled backwards, dragging Shera down with him. Shera laughed and she laid her head on his shoulder. The wrapped their arms around each other, and cuddled together in the grass. Cid had removed his coat before, and he pulled it over them, keeping them warm.
"This is a nice change of pace." Shera commented. Cid kissed the top of her head.
They stayed there, looking dreamily up at the stars, rarely saying a word. It wasn't long before they were peacefully sleeping in each other's arms.

The morning sun on her face caused Shera to stir slightly. She let out an inarticulate groan as she shifted in her bed. Hmm…her mattress felt a little lumpier than usual, but she was too tired to do anything about it. She figured she would just sleep a little longer…
…and then she felt a hand gently caress her hair. She awoke with a start to find herself outside, sleeping on the grass.
Or more accurately, on Cid.
She smiled wearily at him as she recalled the events of last night. She took his hand in hers and touched his face. She had apparently been lying with her head on his chest, and the rest of her on the grass, and was a little stiff because of it.
Seeing she was awake, Cid kissed her softly and brushed her hair out of her face. "Morning."
"Hi. How long have you been awake?"
Cid glanced at his watch. "'Bout fifteen minutes. It's almost seven."
Shera sighed happily, resting her head back on his chest. "Sorry to fall asleep on you. I couldn't help it."
"It's OK. I don't mind." Cid ran his fingers though her hair some more, and closed his eyes. He was feeling more than a little down knowing that he had to leave her very soon. It was the day. But he kept it to himself.
Thoughts raced through his head. Here he was, with the woman he loved lying peacefully with him, finally being able to hold her close the way he had wanted to all these years, but instead of enjoying it, he was going to risk his life. He was going to fight a man who would probably kill him with barely an effort in a little while. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just stay here, and be happy with Shera, and never leave her side? Cloud would understand, wouldn't he?
And then he thought of Aeris. Aeris had done just what he was doing now. She had risked and lost her life, and would never be with the people she loved again. What if that happened to him? He didn't want to break Shera's heart again. He had just promised her that he would never again hurt her. But if she loved him, and he died, would she ever get over the hurt? Cloud probably wouldn't get over the hurt of losing Aeris.
But then, if Aeris had not done what she had when she had, it might have all been over long ago. They might all be dead. How could she let that happen? How could he let that happen? Aeris had accepted her responsibility, now it was time for everyone else to accept theirs. If they tried and failed, at least they tried. But if they were to back down, there was no way out. They had to hold onto what little hope they had.
He looked down at the woman in his arms. Funny. She was the reason he most wanted to stay, and yet, the reason he would not. He couldn't let Shera die. He had to do his part, if only to protect Shera. If she lived, then he could rest. If they both lived, then that's cause for celebration! But even if he died, he could never rest knowing he had failed in his last chance to protect her.
Like he had said, it was all for her.
"Shera?"
"Hmmm?"
Cid reached down and pulled her chin, bringing her eyes to his. "I…I have to go."
Shera's face fell, and the tears began to fall. She moved up and hugged him tightly, burying her face in his neck. Cid hugged her back, trying to calm her sobs. "Cid…please…don't leave me. I don't care if…this is the end. I'd rather die with you than live without you. Please."
"Shera, I can't. I have to."
"Why Cid?! Why?! AVALANCHE is strong, they can beat Sephiroth without you, can't they?" she shrieked, hysterically.
"What if they can't? What if…what if no one else comes back? What if it's just Cloud against Sephiroth? What if he can't do it on his own?"
"Then, at least I can die by your side."
"No. Shera, I can't let that happen. If I don't protect you now, I may never be able to again. If I die, I will never be able to rest knowing that. But if I die fighting, and doing everything in my power to save you, then I'll be happy." he said, stroking her head gently.
"But I won't be if I lose you! Cid, what if Sephiroth wins? What if this is just going to be a losing battle? What then?"
"Don't change a thing. I have to know that I've done all I can. If that isn't enough, well damn, that sucks. But it's all I got."
Shera looked into his eyes again, and then kissed him. She pressed her lips hard against his, and he felt her tears roll down onto their lips. "Cid, what would I do without my Captain?" she asked brokenly when they parted.
"You'll live Shera, that's what you'll do. Shera, you have to understand." Cid lowered his eyes, and thought. He didn't want to say it, but what choice did he have? "Shera, wouldn't you do the same if you were in my place?"
Shera didn't answer. Her expression changed as the words hit her. She thought for a minute, then resumed crying. Her next word was a barely audible whisper: "Yes."
Cid squeezed her gently. "Like I said Shera, it's all for you."
"I understand Cid. But I don't have to like it."
"No, you don't. But I don't either."
For a few minutes, they just held each other, wishing that the day would never end, and they would never have to be apart.
"Shera?" Cid said, breaking the silence.
Shera had calmed down by now, but her face was still wet with tears. "Yes?"
"Shera…if I do come back, I promise…no matter what, I'll never leave you again. I'll make you happy."
Shera smiled a pained smile. "You already have Cid. You already have."
Cid and Shera stayed there on the grass for another few minutes before Cid made her get up. They went into the house, and Shera threw together a quick breakfast for him. He quickly sucked it down, hungry from missing dinner last night. After that, Cid prepared himself in every way he could imagine for the coming battle. The greatest challenge of his life was ahead of him. He would not leave anything to chance.
In about an hour, they stood by the Tiny Bronco, looking into each other's eyes. Cid looked for something to say. Something that would comfort her, and make her stop worrying, but he knew he couldn't. With no words to go on, he just pulled her close to him. Shera cried into his shoulder, and Cid was surprised to find tears in his own eyes. Shera turned her face towards his and kissed him, then searched his honest, blue eyes.
"Please come back, Cid."
"I'll try Shera. I swear I will. But Shera…if…if I never see you again, just remember that I love you. Don't ever forget that, no matter what happens."
"I won't. I love you too Cid."
Cid leaned down and kissed her, praying that he would be able to do so again. As she wrapped her arms around him, all he knew was that he loved her. When the kiss parted, he looked into her tear filled eyes for a moment, and then let her go. He leapt into the Tiny Bronco, and Shera stepped back as he started the engines. He waved to her, and saw her wave back, as he flew off toward his destiny.
Shera…so long…for now. I love you, and one day…I don't know how soon, but I will see you again.

Back on the ground, Shera watched as the Bronco vanished from sight. Turning quickly, she went back into the house, and up to her room. She sat on her bed, and opened the drawer next to it. She took out an old picture of Cid, taken right before he was scheduled to go into space. She looked at it, her tears running heavily down her face. Then she folded it up, and put it in her pocket. She went to the window, where she could see the rising sun, and the beautiful landscape.
Cid…if I never see you again, I promise, I will always be with you Cid. I love you, and I'm proud of you. Until then Cid, take care of yourself. Keep me in your heart, and don't ever doubt…that I love you Cid. So long…for now.



Author's note:
Well, how was dat? This is the second fanfic I started, the second one I've finished. The first was Promise, which you can also check out on the fanfic page.
OK, maybe I got a little...mushy in places, but I've been in a weird mood lately, and I'mnot as upbeat as I usually am. Anyway, I think I did a good job here, no? I think Cid gained some wisdom from his adventures, and I think this is what was in his head as he went to the Northern Crater. Agree? Disagree? Tell me!!
-Chris



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